It is our intent, here at whatthefrench.com, to periodically acknowledge the Youtube heroes out there making French-related content. Sktgamerdudjr13 has the best “être” verb song on the internet. Far better than the dozens of Ke$ha rip-offs. Sadly, he never responded to our request for an interview, which leaves my imagination free to make the whole thing up.
Marc: Jr—May I call you Jr.?
Marc: So, Jr. Why être ?
Jr: It’s quite simple, really. The two most important verbs in the French language are arguably “to be” (être) and “to have” (avoir). Avoir or Être? Whichever you choose as the most important says a lot about your values. Are you a “have” or a “be”? I, for one, am a “be.” Are you a “have” or a “be”? I, for one, am a “be.” Conjugating the verb is an invitation to being. Je suis, tu es, il est, elle est…I am, you are, he is, she is…without consciousness of being, we have no authenticity.
Marc: Mind. blown.
Jr: I have that effect on people.
Marc: Who are your biggest influences?
Jr: Well, Godard, of course.
Marc: Of course.
Jr: But also German expressionistic cinema by way of Guy Maddin’s early work.
Marc: Really? How surprising. I would have guessed cinéma vérité inflected through Vertov’s notion of “Kino-Pravda,” or “film-truth” had influenced your choice to capture the banal act of watching television on a handheld videocamera.
Jr: Was that a question?
Marc: Um, no.
Jr: Were you just regurgitating things you found on Wikipedia to sound smart?
Marc: Maybe. Moving on…Your critics have called you “incompetent,”laaaaameeee,” and “stupid,” is there anything you’d like to say to them?
Jr: I believe it was Lars Von Trier who once said, “I think it’s a very strange question that I have to defend myself. I don’t feel that. You are all my guests, it’s not the other way around, that’s how I feel.” Critics are jealous. It’s as simple as that.
Marc: I realize that you have probably heard this question a million times on the indie film festival circuit, but what kind of budget did the film have?
Jr: $1.2 million.
Marc: Was that mostly spent on post-production? marketing?
Jr: Mood enhancers, mostly. And catering.
Marc: Well, thanks for not actually responding to my request.It’s been a pleasure to have this imaginary interview.
Jr: Likewise. Anytime.