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Celebrity Endorsement Quest: Da(vid)Da(vid) Marketing
See that little thumbnail image of What The French?! on the top row of the “New & Notable” section of the “reference” category on the iBookstore? That’s our book gasping for breath, frantically waving, crying out “DAVID! DAVID! Help!”
How long will those little stick figure arms last? How long until the oblivion of “2 million books and counting” overtakes what is arguably* the best French grammar review book in the history of the world? (*hey. I said arguably.)
It all depends on David.
You see, we have no marketing budget. No SEO savvy. No PR firm.
We just have David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. David. Da…Da…
—oh. I’m sorry. What was I saying?
oh yeah. David. If we could just get celebrities named David to endorse our book, we’d have it made. Let’s call it Dada marketing. To quote Wikipedia, “Dada rejected reason and logic, prizing nonsense, irrationality and intuition.” Perfectly “What The French?!” if you ask me.
You see, there are a lot of famous Davids out there, and we’re pretty sure that all of the cool ones would love our book. Here are just a few of the Bs and Cs:
We heart them all. Well, almost all of them. We’ll pass on the serial killers.
And David Blaine. Random acts of self-levitation are creepy. Not mime-creepy, but close.
So Davids, don’t think that you’re any less special just because there are so many of you. Yes, you were on the top 5 list of baby names nearly every year between 1948 and 1989. So it was probably difficult to stand out at school—what, with all the other little Davids running around, competing for attention. It’s not your fault that your parents lacked imagination. You rose above all of that stifling conformity. And look where you are now. You’re a sports legend/actor/rock icon/director/musician/late-night talk show host/pastry chef/prime minister/magician/writer or something.
Impressive. But have you really crossed everything off your bucket list? How much better would it be if it looked like this?
- become famous
- negotiate a peace treaty with Israel
- make What The French?! the best-selling French grammar book of all time
Pretty great, right?
By now, I’m sure you’re asking yourself, “How can I leverage my well deserved celebrity status and considerable amazingness to help these poor struggling French grammar experts?”
Good question. Consider one or all of the following:Follow us on Twitter Pin a link to us on Pinterest Like our Facebook page
- Or you could have Annie Leibovitz take your photo with whatthefrench.com scrawled across your naked torso. Or…I don’t know…Look. You’re the talented one, surprise us.
- Now, I know what the rest of you are thinking:
There. There. Don’t be sad.
Instead, ask yourself: Do I know anyone famous named David? Can I pressure a David to endorse What The French?! by writing crazed fan mail, tweeting to them, posting on their Facebook, or sending delicious baked goods to their agent?
Yes. yes, you can. And you can share your efforts on our Facebook page, or in a comment here, or on Twitter or your blog, or Youtube. We’re all in this together. There is no “I” in DADA. But there is an “I” in David. Which sounds like it might mean something.